To Break or not to Break, that is the question:

Hello all, I hope you had a lovely spring break- well, first I hope you had a spring break at all. I promised a while back to let you know how my performances went, and they went really well! For both me individually, and overall. The first performance was a bit shaky, but everyone pulled it together in the end and we were all ready for a well-deserved rest afterwards. Unfortunately we didn't have the time to rest.

Normally after the spring shows my studio has a short week-length hiatus from classes, but this year we had to make up so many snow days that we danced all through break. Now, this is really nice usually; even going a week without dancing and especially stretching can set you back. But I had just come back from an overnight stay in New York City (where I had a peek at the inner workings of Pointe magazine!) which involved two god-awful bus rides, each four hours long. I have absolutely no idea why the people who design bus seats make the seats concave so your back is rounded, but then put the head rest forward. It forces you to sit like a slouching caveman/cavewoman!

An aching back can make this hard! Photo from Kodama Ballet. 

Anyways, that really threw me off during Wednesday's class, in addition to not being able to see because my contact had somehow fallen out of my eye and dried up... it was embarrassing because we had a guest teacher whom I usually work hard to impress. Then the next day, my teacher was ill so I was asked to sub last minute. Again, normally I would be absolutely cool with it, but I had to drive to my university to grab my spare contacts and I had made plans with a friend, so I didn't have much time to prepare... ahhhhhh! It worked out in the end, but I never like to feel unrehearsed.

I guess my point is, sometimes it's nice to have a little break from what you love. And there are ways to keep your body in good form whilst away from the barre, a few being:

1. Stretch! This may be the most important, and you don't have to limit yourself to when you're on break. The Ballet Blog has great tips for staying limber over the holidays. 
2. Cross-train. The old school of ballet was against cross-training in areas like yoga, pilates, or even kickboxing, but new studies have found that cross-training keeps a dancer healthy and strong. Take a loot at Pointe's article and MindBodyBallet's post before hitting the aerobics room or the pool for a nice workout! 
3. Keep healthy eating habits. Many times I've let myself overindulge when I'm not dancing and gone kind of crazy with the cake, candy, and chocolate. It's alright to each sweets you like in small doses and on occasion, but if you're like me and you don't have the iron will to push them away once you've had a little, I'd say just stick to your regular healthy diet. 
4. Go see a ballet! Nothing can inspire you like seeing a well-put together, professional performance. In the DC area, the Kennedy Center always has upcoming performances by great companies. 

Natalia Osipova in ABT's Le Corsaire at the Kennedy Center. I saw this last year and was awed! Photo from NYTimes.

What do you think? Other than dance, do you need to take an occasional break from your passions, or can you never get enough?

Conflicting Passions

Sometimes I wonder how to be someone who supports equality for all people and dance ballet at the same time. Ballet, especially performance ballet, is inherently such a non-equal activity. I’m not saying that most dancers aren’t treated fairly, regardless of your gender, but just that by definition we are not treated the same way. Men usually don’t wear pointe shoes (unless you’re in Trockadero, and that’s men in parody of women, no matter how absolutely hilarious it is!). Male ballet dancers also have a greater chance of succeeding professionally even if they start dancing later in life, due to the lack of men in ballet (a whole separate issue)—that’s just a fact. Professional companies look for dancers who match their other corps dancers; unfortunately, this often means passing over immensely talented dancers of color or of differing builds. And that’s just considering the aesthetic biases without even starting to discuss the baggage that comes along with ballet’s deep root in aristocracy and classism. How can a dancer look at themselves in their bedroom mirror and say to themselves that it doesn't matter how others judge your body and your look, and then look in the studio mirror and try to change things about their bodies and their movement to be better perceived by the audience?

Daniil Simkin, principal at ABT. Photo taken by Rosalie O'Connor.

There is a common notion the world has of female ballet dancers: that we diet so we can fit into our costumes, that we develop eating disorders and sacrifice our bodies in pursuit of perfection. Although often exaggerated, this is not altogether false. Even in my amateur company, I know beautiful women who are completely comfortable with their bodies and in their own skin. They are intelligent and independent. And yet they bend over backwards to accommodate what’s necessary to better their performance, whether it’s eating half as much, or nursing their bruised, bleeding feet rather than give up a step. I am not innocent of this crime. Is it a crime? Is it even an issue, or just a personal decision?

And this is a tame picture! Photo from Google.

Not to mention that the content of many classical ballet shows, such as Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty, largely feature heroines without much agency and male leads who are very stereotypically “prince”-like. (Why Cinderella doesn’t just move out and get a job?) Nowadays, the focus for ballet dancers is portraying, not celebrating, the character and any potentially unethical themes of the story. But those characters are celebrated regardless. We, the audience, want to root for Cinderella. We want Aurora to get woken by her what’s-his-name prince and get married and live happily ever after. We feel a pang when Nikita is bitten by the snake, ignoring all the major prejudices of the rest of the setting and plot.

But I don’t feel wrong dancing ballet. There is absolutely nothing I can feel guilty for in pushing myself and trying my best. I love performing classical ballets. Personally, when I dance a villain, or even a member of the corps I can celebrate my character, even if the audience doesn’t. I can complain about my aching feet all I want, but in the end I still ribbon up my pointes. I do not feel that the actual act or process of dancing ballet or performing for a ballet company is unfair.

Natalia Osipova and Ivan Vasiliev in Don Quixote. Photo from Google.

Fortunately, there are still some popular ballets with heroines that are both lovable and independent: Kitri from Don Quixote, Sylvia from Sylvia, along with newer ballets with more modern themes. (Anyone interested in doing choreo for a ballet of Frozen? I freaking love Frozen.) And fortunately, a serious dancer knows that to be able to keep dancing, he or she needs to keep their body strong. I don’t know if there is a cut-and-dry, get out jail free solution for this. Most likely there isn’t one concrete, logical argument that frees us from worrying about celebrating discriminatory themes, and indirectly encouraging a practice that makes objects of men and women’s bodies. What I do know is this: I am doing what I want to be doing. I am doing what I love to be doing. And if you do ballet, no matter what gender, race, or body type you are, you can say the same.

Misty Copeland, soloist with ABT. Photo from Joel Minden's website. 

T-minus six days...

Less than one week till the shows! The show we’re doing is a little unusual for our company. We normally do a classical “story” ballet, sometimes with a short contemporary piece preceding it, but this time we’re doing it in three sections. The first is a short called The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, based on that bit in Fantasia where Mickey loses control of all those brooms and buckets, which is actually based on a poem by Goethe of the same name.

From Youtube. 

It’s going to be really cute, even if I have to dress up as a mustard-colored broom! This act is full of little ten year olds running around in blue tutus pretending to be water drops. The last time we did this, I had just gotten up en pointe, so I’m happy to be doing more this time. (Pointe shoes are the hard ballet shoes that allow a dancer to go up on to the tips of her toes, as opposed to soft shoes, which only allow dancers to go onto the pads of their toes. Male dancers don’t usually wear pointe shoes.) I’m also excited for my friend J—he just started dancing and although he isn’t a natural by any means, he’s doing really well adjusting, and the director has given him quite a lot in this section, at least for a beginner. I know a lot of people are concerned about starting ballet as an adult, but it’s never too late: the most important things you need are a good attitude and a willingness to improve. J takes constructive criticism really well, and in our spare time asks people to go over the choreography and technical aspects of the steps with him. He didn’t even mind (too much) the dance belt and tights I threw at him after reading the e-book on Ballet for Men.

That said, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is the least intense of the three sections. The second is a mishmash of excerpts from various classical ballets, This is the section I’m most excited and nervous about; I was lucky enough to get a pas de deux (a partnering dance) with the principal danseur, who is absolutely awesome! He’s married to the director, and she first choreographed the dance for herself in her prime. It’s a dream come true—the highest honor I could have, especially with other, more qualified ballerinas doing the show as well. The dance I’m doing is Prince Ivan and Princess Vasilisa’s when they first meet in The Firebird. It’s going really well in rehearsals, and today will be our first dress rehearsal at the theatre.

Still, I’m taking the dance so seriously that I think it may be starting to affect my knees. For those of you who don’t know, “turnout” refers to turning your hips, legs and feet away from each other (think of making your feet a “V” shape with your heels together), which is desirable in classical ballet and has to do with your natural ability. Most professionals have around 180 degree turnout—in many companies, they’ll turn away children who don’t have 180 degree natural turnout. Talk about a tough break!

My natural turnout is really crappy—around 100 degrees, which means I’m always struggling to turn out even the slightest degree. The difficulty is, to protect your knees, simply pointing your feet away from each other doesn’t work: you have to turn your whole leg out from the hip. Unfortunately, it’s much harder to turn out your hip than just your feet, so lately I’ve been unconsciously forcing my turnout… Just have to keep telling myself to stop. Here’s a video that's helpful for finding your natural turnout:

Also from Youtube.

Anyhoo, enough about injuries. The third and final section is a contemporary style ballet set to Gustav Holst’s Planets. The music is beautiful and the concept is just plain awesome. I’ve done this piece with the company before twice: once when I had just graduated from the youth company to the adult company, and once as the soloist. The second time was a shortened version for a student recital, which is the only reason I was cast as the soloist, but the work still means a lot to me. Here’s one of the musical pieces it’s set to:

Jupiter! From Youtube.

Awesome, huh? (And I mean literally, it fills me with awe.) That piece is the corps dance Jupiter, which means almost everyone in the adult company is in it, no matter what level. The less experienced members are placed towards the back, but they still do the same choreography. The great thing about being in a community company is that everyone has the chance to perform. Very rarely will you get that opportunity with so low a level of commitment in ballet. That said, the way the company and roles are set up makes you push yourself—if you put in the work, you can get good parts, unlike in professional ballet where body shape and natural flexibility are big factors, among other things. My head and my bum are both a little too big for classical ballet, but I get to perform anyway, and I can honestly say it’s the best thing that ever could have happened to me.

ABT's Gillian Murphy as Odile in Swan Lake. From Youtube.

I’ll probably never pull fouettes off as well as Gillian, but at least I can do what I love to do! I’ll let you guys know how the show goes next week. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend, and happy dancing!